


what it's like to be you

by nystxgmic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, I promise it's not that bad, i can only write angst lol sorry, it's a plot point, okay this is two months after avengers 4, the summary sounds dumb bc i couldn't pick a good sample oof, tony dies in that movie right so he's dead in this too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 18:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nystxgmic/pseuds/nystxgmic
Summary: two months after the events of avengers 4, your boyfriend peter parker still suffers from nightmares and guilt after the death of his friends, especially tony stark.





	what it's like to be you

_i don't know what it's like to be you_

_i don't know what it's like but i'm trying to_

“Mr. Stark please, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go,” Peter cries as he tosses and turns in his sleep. 

He reaches out in distress, arms blindly grasping your shoulders and jolting you awake. You’re a little disoriented, but you adjust quickly. It’s been two months since Thanos’ snap was reversed by the surviving Avengers, but the events of the past year will probably haunt Peter for the rest of his life. Every night is like this for you, if not worse, but you promised Peter you could handle it when you started dating. 

He wakes up sweating, eyes red and glassy. “ I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I- I should-, I’m sorry.”

His voice breaks as he pushes the soft sheets off and walks over to the window. the city is alive as always, street lamps illuminating the sidewalks as hundreds of different people with hundreds of different lives passed through his own for a split second. “You can’t save everyone,” you say quietly.

He doesn’t turn away from the window. “But I have to try. I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

“Sometimes you have to stop and save yourself, babe.”

“But it’s not about me! Mr. Stark _died_ for me, and for you, and for them,”- gesturing to the people on the street below - “and we’re all just supposed to pretend everything is fine? Thanos is dead, we beat him, there’ll never be another criminal, another alien army. Everything’s fine now, we’re all safe. That’s bullshit and we both know it. We should be doing something. I can’t stand it,” he says, pacing around the room in frustration. 

“Peter, listen, I know you’re angry, but I think you should-”

“What do you know about what I’ve lost? What do you know about your friends disintegrating around you? What do you know about letting down everyone who cared about you? What do you know about watching someone who loves you die so that you can live?” he cries, choking on the sobs filling his throat as tears fall freely down his sunken cheeks. 

“You have no idea how I’m feeling, y/n,” he says, eyes downcast as he sits with his head in his hands. 

“You’re right,” you say softly, “I have no idea how you’re feeling. but I’m trying, really hard, to understand. I want to help you, Peter. You have to know that I’m trying. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

He looks at you, eyes red and puffy. “ I’m sorry, y/n, I shouldn’t have yelled like that. Maybe I should leave for a while, I don’t want to drag you into this.”

You look him in the eyes. “Is that what you really want?”

“No,” he sighs. 

“Okay, c’mere then. Let’s call a truce, and we’ll talk about it later,” you reply gently. 

He crawls back under the thin sheets slowly and you tenderly press a kiss to his cheek. “Wanna watch a movie? That always cheers us up,” you soothe as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. 

“Yeah sure,” he whispers.

You grab the remote off the nightstand and put on a movie. It’s Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, his favorite. Peter places one hand on the side of your face, gently stroking your hair. 

“Mm, stop, your hand’s so cold,” you laugh. 

He smiles. “I love you, y/n. always.”

“Goodnight peter. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> lol i've never written one of these before but someone asked so if u liked it lmk in the comments or ask me @nystxgmic on tumblr and if u want a part 2/have a request love yall


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